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Religions of the World
Taoism: Shit happens.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Atheism: No shit.
Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?
Confucianism: Confucius says: "Shit happens."
7th Day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturdays.
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
Jehovah's Witness: Knock, knock, "Shit happens."
Unitarian: What is this shit?
Reincarnates: Shit happens again and again and again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.